Random Stupid

The following is a description of my last few attempts at blogging:

Think, think, think. Think some more. Write a few sentences. Delete same. Rethink, rethink, rethink. Write a few more sentences. Agonize over said sentences. Delete said sentences. Begin process again.

I may bore all of you to tears with the next few blogs because I have determined I just need to write instead of worrying about whether what I'm writing has any entertainment value. My hope is that the entertainment value will be there if I just get a few paragraphs out. I hope you won't all flee and "unsubscribe", but I would completely understand if you did.

Tonight I've decided to write about an example of the "random stupid" I deal with every day. I've gotta tell ya, most days this list is long. VERY long. Some days, I'm convinced that the problem must be me. Am I extremely judgmental? Do I think I'm smarter than other people? I don't THINK that I think I'm smarter, but there has to be an explanation for why I'm surrounded by so much stupid. This can't be normal.

A prime example: Today I received an invoice from one of my vendors. A uniform vendor that shall remain nameless. For the purposes of this blog, and in keeping with my theme, we'll refer to this company as Deficient Unintelligent Morons Bestowing Astonishingly Shitty Service, Inc., or "DUMBASS".

Let me provide you with a little background about the relationship between DUMBASS and me. I spent the better part of last year negotiating a new contract with DUMBASS. The goal: To put some of the staff in new, safer uniforms and to lower the price of the contract. Promises were made. Promises were broken. On several occasions, the insanity of it all almost made my head explode. I mean we are talking about a contract for which we pay less than $50 a week. They could get the shirt I wanted for the staff, and then they couldn't. Well they could but only in long sleeve and not in 100% cotton. Over and over I asked, who CAN get me the one I want? Ultimately, and after more aggravation than I could ever express here, DUMBASS managed to get me what I was looking for and saved me a little money in the process. It then took DUMBASS three friggin' months (in addition to the six months of negotiation) to get the uniforms to me in a condition I could sign off on!!

It was hard, but I promised myself I would give DUMBASS the benefit of the doubt in 2011. After all, this is a new and better year, they have a new District Manager and changes are abound! Sadly, I discovered today that DUMBASS is still DUMBASS.

Upon receipt of this week's invoice, I discovered that I was being charged an extra $46 this week. No explanation. Just a bunch of codes that mean absolutely nothing since the key to decipher these codes is not present on the invoice. After two emails and two phone calls, I finally got to speak to a customer service (I use this term VERY loosely) agent. Agent Nitwit (ok, she may have said Nicole, I honestly can't recall) proceeded to tell me that the charges represented the replacement of a pair of pants that were either damaged or lost and two jackets, size medium. I asked Agent Nitwit if she could tell me which staff member received these new garments and she gave me the name of a person who is not on our staff. She obviously had us confused with another account. Problem solved. Wrong answer! Agent Nitwit, on behalf of DUMBASS, proceeded to try to convince me that this person was on my staff and I must be mistaken. FACT: There are three people in my building that wear this particular uniform, all men, and I assure you that none of them are named Tammy. After 13 minutes of this ridiculous conversation, I asked her to transfer me to her boss, who was gone for the day (at 1:30pm).

I'm not convinced you can fix stupid, but tomorrow, I'm sure gonna try!