About Me

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San Diego, CA, United States
Wanna be nerdy writer girl calling it how I see it.

November 21, 2011

Thankful For: A List

I read a blog today that made my face leak.  Thank you, Karen Hicks. I haven't been inspired to write anything in months. Love you so, so much. Sisters by choice.

As many of you know, I'm a fan of lists. I make them constantly.  I don't necessarily accomplish any of the things I write on them, but I make them nonetheless. Today a made a "thankful for" list.  I'm going to leave the list here, exactly as I wrote it. In some cases, I used names. If your name isn't here, it isn't because I'm not thankful for you. It isn't because I don't adore you. This is how the thoughts came out on paper and I'm trying to be true to that.

1. Clay and Austin. Everything.

2.  Family. Clay. Austin. Mum. Dad. Joey. Siblings. In-laws. Cousins. Awesome. Crazy. More than slightly dysfunctional. Mine. Nieces. Nephews. Baby Jack.  Love.

3.  Friends. Better than anyone else's. Kim. Karen. Carrie. Amanda. Theresa. Liana. Lucky girl. Love.

4.  My God girls. Demi. Brie. Juju. The peanut, The angel and the free spirit.  Special love forever.

5.  Great job. Chaos. Irene.  Jenny.  CP = yayyyy!

6.  wwf. Dawn, Becky, Rhea, Dah-Jur, Missy, Ang, Pam and  Clarissa. Brain power. Smarty pants.

7.  The No Drama Mamas. The truth. Grateful. Adore.

8.  Sushi. Good food.

9.  Good beer and strong drinks.

10.  Laughter. LJ. The MOST gigglefests. Amanda. Hilarity ensues.  Facebook funnies (thanks, Dale :-)

11.  The bad times. They help me appreciate the good times.

12. Pain free days and pain medication for the days that aren't.

13. Heavy cream and bacon.

14.  Velveeta shells and cheese.

15.  Sonya's costumes.  Don't ask!

16.  Mum's magic rosary beads.

17.  Simba the Wonder Cat. Must buy cape! SUPER kitty!

18. Patriots. Red Sox. Celtics. Bruins. WINNING!

19.  Air conditioning.

20. Hand sanitizer.

21.  The men and women of the armed forces. God bless their hearts.

22.  Mainiacs and Massholes and the Southern contingent! LOVE LOVE LOVE.

23.  Inspiration.

24.  Sharpies and duct tape.

25.  A good plastic surgeon and a relatively scar free face.

26. Unexpected, incredible connections. Deanie.  Liserrrr.

27.  God's grace.

28.  Having my Mum's sense of humor.

29.  People who can take a joke.

30.  San Francisco. Dot. Pat's Cafe. The PERFECT eggs benedict.  Search. Over.

31.  Iced tea. Strong. Lemon = YUCK.

I'm sure I could add a zillion things to this list and probably will over and over again. The list changes constantly. I'm grateful for that. It means my life is interesting and that I'm growing as an individual and surrounding myself with more awesomeness. It means I appreciate the big things, the good things, the silly things and even the not so good things.  I wish the same for each of you.

What and who are you thankful for? Take stock. Make a list. You might be surprised at the things that come to mind :-)

April 6, 2011

Stylish?! Me!!!???

I recently received a post from a friend and fellow blogger that said "I just wanted to stop in and say that I've nominated you for a Stylish Blogger Award from Creative HeArt!!!"  My first thought was "Is SHE talking to ME?!"  I wish Donna could have seen the smile on my face.  I get that it's not an Oscar, but WHAT AN HONOR!!

There are rules that apply to my nomination. I must now tell the blogosphere 7 things about myself that it might not already now.  I must also nominate a few other blogs/bloggers who I think are VERY special, notify them of their nomination and ask them to pay it forward by nominating other bloggers!

If you get nominated more than once...you're EXTRA Stylish!!

7 Things You May or May Not Know about Me

1.  I am a sports fanatic!

2.  I am terrified of snakes.

3.  I consider good beer its own food group. Most domestic beer is not included in this category. I said GOOD beer.  If you want to serve this beer with a side of chicken wings...who am I to stop you?!

4.  I married my best friend. I highly recommend it.  

5.  San Francisco is one of my favorite places on earth!

6.  I talk to my Mom almost every day.  I miss her on the days we don't talk. She is funny and kind and it is CLEAR to me why people like her. If she weren't my Mom, I'd choose her to be my friend.

7.  I'm a germaphobe with a serious hand sanitizer addiction. I don't see this changing any time soon.



2.  Bariatric Revisionary - http://www.bariatricrevisionary.blogspot.com/

3.  Creative HeArt - http://creativehearts.typepad.com/

Congrats to each of my nominees!!  You'll be hearing from me soon.

If you are reading my blog but aren't reading the writings of these folks, you should..they are VERY, VERY talented!!

March 1, 2011

The Rules

I am generally appalled by the way children and teens behave these days. Honestly, I'm disgusted at how afraid parents are to set boundaries and enforce rules.

Several episodes I've witnessed recently between parents and their kids have got me thinking about what a great kid my son is. He rarely finds himself in trouble, does well in school, is respectful and kind...in short: He's easy. I honestly can't remember the last time he was "grounded" or it was necessary to take a privilege away from him. He knows what the rules are and he follows them.

I give a lot of credit for this to my own Mom. I learned the rules from her (many of them THE HARD WAY!), and passed them forward.  THANKS, MOM!!! 


1.  Mom makes the rules. ALL OF THEM.

2.  Mom can change the rules, alter or eliminate them at will. If you don't like it, too friggin' bad. See Rule 1.

3.  Being respectful is not optional. It's a requirement.  Say please and thank.  Yes ma'am and no sir.  A disrespectful kid wouldn't survive in this house. You'll find your ass in a sling...QUICKLY.

4.  I am the boss of you.  I'm glad you have an opinion and I'm glad you know how to express it.  However, voicing your contrary opinion to a parent/teacher/elder is unnecessary unless you are asked for it. I don't care that you're almost 16. You're the kid and we're the parents/teachers.  Deal with it. Bite your tongue until it bleeds, if necessary.

5.  I do not feel the urge to explain to a 5 or 10 or 16 year old, at length, why they aren't allowed to do something.  I'm bigger than you and I said so.  End of discussion.

6.   When we go to someone else's house: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!  Keep your hands to yourself. You brought things with you to do or play with. Touch only the things you brought with you. People don't like it when you touch their stuff and they won't to have you back over. Believe me when I say this.  There are many kids who have only been here ONCE!!

7.  The rules may not always seem logical but they were created to protect you and help you grow into a decent, respectful person, who people enjoy being around.

8. Throwing a tantrum at home or in public is not recommended.  I guarantee you will not like the consequences.  It WILL suck to be you.

9.  If I give you "the look", it means knock it off.  Don't test me.  It is ill-advised.

10.  I am not your friend. I hope that one day, when you are a decent, successful, well-rounded adult, we'll be friends, but now is not the time for that.  I am the parent. You are are the child.  That is the nature of this relationship.

Rule 11 is the most important of all.  It is what you should remember when you think I'm unreasonable:

11.  I love you so much, I'm willing to deal with you being angry with me.  You're young. You'll get over it and someday...I know you won't believe this...you'll THANK me!

I wish more parents weren't afraid to be the boss. Their kids would respect them for it.  Kids dig boundaries.  They need them.  Anyone who doesn't believe me should see my son in action. He's a really good kid!!

FOR THOUGHT:  Have you ever seen a child relating to his parents in public and thought: My Mother would have KILLED me for acting like that?  Did you grow up to think your parents were horrible people because they didn't allow you free reign or did you pass the things they taught you forward?

February 5, 2011

A Letter to my Son and God Daughters

This past week was a long week of sadness and worry. A young lady, for reasons that need not be discussed here, took her own life. This young lady was my cousin's niece. She had just turned 14 years old.

The pain her family is experiencing is beyond measure and if she is looking down on them, and I'm certain she is, I'm positive she regrets her decision.

I'm writing to remind you all that there is nothing you will ever do that can't be worked through and there is nothing you can ever say that can't be made right with some hard work and a lot of sincerity.

I hope you and your friends are kind to each other. I hope you all know that your words and actions matter in the lives of others. I hope you think before you speak and reach out to those who are weaker or less self-assured than you. I hope you will choose to be the difference in someone's life.  The positive difference.

I hope you to know that you can talk to me about ANYTHING. If you were unsure...I'm telling you now...ANYTHING.  If you don't feel comfortable discussing something with me, talk to a friend or another adult you trust. Who would you turn to if didn't feel you could turn to your parents? Do you have a plan?  Plans are important, especially when times are hard.

As I write this, I am, in my mind, wrapping my arms around each of you.  Can you feel how strong my love is? It is as strong as the hardest diamond. It is unbreakable and unstoppable.  It is my strength, I have so much of it for you, that it can be your strength too. 

If you are never sure of anything else, be sure of this:  I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW.

January 30, 2011

She's a Maine-iac!

I've been lucky enough to move around some and do some traveling. I grew up in Maine, lived in Washington, D.C. for the better part of my 20s and moved to California, where I have lived ever since, on a whim when I was 27.  There were things I loved about each of these places and things I never got used to.  I think my time in these places and the people I knew when I lived in them have, in part, defined who I am now.  I am grateful for my experiences. In the next series of blogs, I'm going to tell you a little about each of these places from my perspective.  It might give some of you a better understanding of who I am.  It might just be an interesting read and a look into a place you've never been. And so it begins...

I remember growing up in a time less complicated.  We were safe.  We played outside until the street lights came on.  Atari was a luxury and we were allowed less than hour a day to play it (and not every day - that stuff will rot your brain for goodness sake!).  We never played it during the day. We were busy!!  We ate breakfast and then were off to knock on doors and collect our friends.  When our parents needed us, they stood on the porch and hollered our names (and we came running). My childhood consisted of sledding on the hill in our backyard, picking berries and rhubarb and eating them before they were washed, playing games of football and kickball in the street in front of our house with the other neighbor kids. We never worried about cars. They worried about us. People were kind and we lived slowly.  We rode our bikes and swam in the Saco River (pronounced RIVAH) all summer long. We spent time "upta" camp!  Swimming in the lake and enjoying times with our parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles.

As we got older, our interests changed.  We played sports to keep us busy and active after school, were in the drama club to inspire our imaginations, attended football games EVERY Friday (rain or shine, ice or snow).  We hung out with our friends in places we shouldn't have been and our parents would have lost their damn minds "if they only knew."  We had JOBS! If you wanted to drive a car or have your own, you had to earn money to pay for gas. It taught us the value of a dollar. It taught us that we had to WORK for the things we wanted. The world did not owe us anything.

I loved the seasons in Maine.  Yes, even winter!  I loved watching snow fall and praying for snow days.  I loved sledding and skiing and skating.  I loved hot chocolate and the smell of the fireplace...or a wood stove...a big old cast iron wood stove!

Summers were hot and spring brought allergies, but FALL, OH BEAUTIFUL fall. We lived for fall.  There is not a sight more beautiful than fall in New England.  The gorgeous golds and reds. The brisk but not cold weather.  Sweatahhhh weather!  The leaves falling. Jumping in piles of leaves we spent hours raking.  Happy, gorgeous fall.

New Englanders are abrasive at times.  We call 'em how we see 'em.  We are honest.  If you want to know the truth...ask us. If you want someone to blow smoke up your ass...ask someone else. It's cold in Maine 50% of the year. We're grumpy.  We don't have time to coddle you!!!  Our friends are our family.  Don't mess with them or you'll deal with ALL of us.  We are fiercely loyal.  Loyal like puppies.  We won't lie to you and we won't let anyone hurt you if we can help it. My girlfriends from Maine are my sisters. I am still friends with the same people I was friends with in second grade.  Distance doesn't change that.  We don't need to speak every day to know we love each other.  If we don't speak for months, we pick up right where we left off. I am connected to these people.  Our hearts and mouths speak the same language.

New Englanders LOVE their sports teams! We are Red Sox Nation!  The Patriots, the Celtics and the Bruins...GOOOOOOO TEAM!!!  Not all of my friends from New England are Pats or Red Sox fans (they lost their way but I forgive them)...but whoever they root for...they root hard!!  We defend our sports teams... sometimes with ridiculous arguments...but our teams are WICKED good and our loyalty kicks in when we feel they need defending! I have the MLB, NBA and NFL packages at my house. I see as many Red Sox, Celtics and Pats games as I can. I may not live in New England anymore...but these teams NEED my support!!!

We love our parents and our siblings. We value these connections.  I haven't lived in Maine in almost 20 years and I still talk to my Mum daily and usually more than once.  You don't?  This makes no sense to me. I'm not judging you for it. I just don't understand it.

I grew up in Maine.  Maine is where my family is.  It is where many of my closest friends still reside.  These are the people who "get" me in a way that others do not.  I miss Maine and if I thought I could make a good living there, and could convince my husband that winter doesn't actually equal DEATH, I would move back in a heartbeat. I cherish the memories of my childhood and revisit them often. Ahhhh, Maine...the way life should be. I love Maine and the people from Maine.  Part of my heart will always live there.

FOR THOUGHT:  Where does your heart live?  Who are the people that understand things about you that others can't?  Do you cherish the memories of your childhood or did you always pray you'd some day escape them?

January 25, 2011

Random Stupid

The following is a description of my last few attempts at blogging:

Think, think, think. Think some more. Write a few sentences. Delete same. Rethink, rethink, rethink. Write a few more sentences. Agonize over said sentences. Delete said sentences. Begin process again.

I may bore all of you to tears with the next few blogs because I have determined I just need to write instead of worrying about whether what I'm writing has any entertainment value. My hope is that the entertainment value will be there if I just get a few paragraphs out. I hope you won't all flee and "unsubscribe", but I would completely understand if you did.

Tonight I've decided to write about an example of the "random stupid" I deal with every day. I've gotta tell ya, most days this list is long. VERY long. Some days, I'm convinced that the problem must be me. Am I extremely judgmental? Do I think I'm smarter than other people? I don't THINK that I think I'm smarter, but there has to be an explanation for why I'm surrounded by so much stupid. This can't be normal.

A prime example: Today I received an invoice from one of my vendors. A uniform vendor that shall remain nameless. For the purposes of this blog, and in keeping with my theme, we'll refer to this company as Deficient Unintelligent Morons Bestowing Astonishingly Shitty Service, Inc., or "DUMBASS".

Let me provide you with a little background about the relationship between DUMBASS and me. I spent the better part of last year negotiating a new contract with DUMBASS. The goal: To put some of the staff in new, safer uniforms and to lower the price of the contract. Promises were made. Promises were broken. On several occasions, the insanity of it all almost made my head explode. I mean we are talking about a contract for which we pay less than $50 a week. They could get the shirt I wanted for the staff, and then they couldn't. Well they could but only in long sleeve and not in 100% cotton. Over and over I asked, who CAN get me the one I want? Ultimately, and after more aggravation than I could ever express here, DUMBASS managed to get me what I was looking for and saved me a little money in the process. It then took DUMBASS three friggin' months (in addition to the six months of negotiation) to get the uniforms to me in a condition I could sign off on!!

It was hard, but I promised myself I would give DUMBASS the benefit of the doubt in 2011. After all, this is a new and better year, they have a new District Manager and changes are abound! Sadly, I discovered today that DUMBASS is still DUMBASS.

Upon receipt of this week's invoice, I discovered that I was being charged an extra $46 this week. No explanation. Just a bunch of codes that mean absolutely nothing since the key to decipher these codes is not present on the invoice. After two emails and two phone calls, I finally got to speak to a customer service (I use this term VERY loosely) agent. Agent Nitwit (ok, she may have said Nicole, I honestly can't recall) proceeded to tell me that the charges represented the replacement of a pair of pants that were either damaged or lost and two jackets, size medium. I asked Agent Nitwit if she could tell me which staff member received these new garments and she gave me the name of a person who is not on our staff. She obviously had us confused with another account. Problem solved. Wrong answer! Agent Nitwit, on behalf of DUMBASS, proceeded to try to convince me that this person was on my staff and I must be mistaken. FACT: There are three people in my building that wear this particular uniform, all men, and I assure you that none of them are named Tammy. After 13 minutes of this ridiculous conversation, I asked her to transfer me to her boss, who was gone for the day (at 1:30pm).

I'm not convinced you can fix stupid, but tomorrow, I'm sure gonna try!

January 21, 2011

Chaaaa chaaa chaaa CHANGES!

My son is driving. I don’t know how it happened. I just woke up one day and there he stood, permit in hand, extra big cheesy grin, asking if there was “anywhere he could drive me.” Don’t get me wrong, I know we signed him up for driver’s education. I know he attended the classes. I even know my husband drove him to the DMV to take the test for his driver’s permit (Did I really agree to that?). I’m convinced I was in a fog when all of this happened.

When did he become a man who shaves, has an adult sense of humor and drives? My sweet boy, more sensitive than most, has become one of the guys. AUGH!

I overhear him and his friends talking. They are slightly vulgar yet still afraid to step too far over the line (at least when they are in each other’s homes and within ear shot of “the ‘rents”). The jokes about anatomy fly freely. The language is questionable but not outrageous. Hugs are rationed these days and, in his opinion, not required on a daily basis.

My son is a sophomore in high school this year and thinking about all of the “big stuff” he has to look forward to over the next few years overwhelms me. There will be girlfriends, unsupervised social functions, driving without a parent in the car, prom, graduation…THE NAVY, which he has determined is his best shot at his “lifelong dream” of living in Japan!! Japan? What? Does he know how far away that is?? Of course he does! Somebody pass the straight razor.

I know I’m lucky. He’s a good person who cares about other people and their feelings. He gets good grades. He stays out of trouble and makes me PROUD every day. My job here is done, right?! What if I don't want to quit this job? What if this is the job I want forever?? The job I never want to retire from.

I know we will always be his parents but he won’t always NEED us. Sadly, he won’t live at home forever. He won’t rely on us for shelter, sustenance and the almighty dollar. He will go away and make his own life, which he’ll include us in, but it won’t be the same. This is hard pill to swallow.

I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating this lately and it dawned on me that as he grows and changes, so does my life. We now go out with friends but don’t have to search for a babysitter, watch rated R movies when he’s in the room and we no longer feel the need to filter our language in front of the K. I. D.

Our future life will include, among other things, travel, more “adult” restaurants and quite possibly some dancing naked in the living room! That isn’t so bad, is it? I’m … kind of … dare I say …. hesitantly …. looking forward to it!

How do you get through times of change?  Do you put the brakes on and try to wait it out?  Do you roll with the punches?  Keep your head up and move forward?