The Rules

I am generally appalled by the way children and teens behave these days. Honestly, I'm disgusted at how afraid parents are to set boundaries and enforce rules.

Several episodes I've witnessed recently between parents and their kids have got me thinking about what a great kid my son is. He rarely finds himself in trouble, does well in school, is respectful and kind...in short: He's easy. I honestly can't remember the last time he was "grounded" or it was necessary to take a privilege away from him. He knows what the rules are and he follows them.

I give a lot of credit for this to my own Mom. I learned the rules from her (many of them THE HARD WAY!), and passed them forward.  THANKS, MOM!!! 

THE RULES ACCORDING TO MOM

1.  Mom makes the rules. ALL OF THEM.

2.  Mom can change the rules, alter or eliminate them at will. If you don't like it, too friggin' bad. See Rule 1.

3.  Being respectful is not optional. It's a requirement.  Say please and thank.  Yes ma'am and no sir.  A disrespectful kid wouldn't survive in this house. You'll find your ass in a sling...QUICKLY.

4.  I am the boss of you.  I'm glad you have an opinion and I'm glad you know how to express it.  However, voicing your contrary opinion to a parent/teacher/elder is unnecessary unless you are asked for it. I don't care that you're almost 16. You're the kid and we're the parents/teachers.  Deal with it. Bite your tongue until it bleeds, if necessary.

5.  I do not feel the urge to explain to a 5 or 10 or 16 year old, at length, why they aren't allowed to do something.  I'm bigger than you and I said so.  End of discussion.

6.   When we go to someone else's house: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!  Keep your hands to yourself. You brought things with you to do or play with. Touch only the things you brought with you. People don't like it when you touch their stuff and they won't to have you back over. Believe me when I say this.  There are many kids who have only been here ONCE!!

7.  The rules may not always seem logical but they were created to protect you and help you grow into a decent, respectful person, who people enjoy being around.

8. Throwing a tantrum at home or in public is not recommended.  I guarantee you will not like the consequences.  It WILL suck to be you.

9.  If I give you "the look", it means knock it off.  Don't test me.  It is ill-advised.

10.  I am not your friend. I hope that one day, when you are a decent, successful, well-rounded adult, we'll be friends, but now is not the time for that.  I am the parent. You are are the child.  That is the nature of this relationship.

Rule 11 is the most important of all.  It is what you should remember when you think I'm unreasonable:

11.  I love you so much, I'm willing to deal with you being angry with me.  You're young. You'll get over it and someday...I know you won't believe this...you'll THANK me!

I wish more parents weren't afraid to be the boss. Their kids would respect them for it.  Kids dig boundaries.  They need them.  Anyone who doesn't believe me should see my son in action. He's a really good kid!!



FOR THOUGHT:  Have you ever seen a child relating to his parents in public and thought: My Mother would have KILLED me for acting like that?  Did you grow up to think your parents were horrible people because they didn't allow you free reign or did you pass the things they taught you forward?